Fairy Girl

I don’t know many women that have a very good relationship with their mother, and it is really very sad.

I have the most amazing mother but our relationship is nowhere near perfect.

I mean it when I say I have the most amazing mother. She is gentle, kind and very, very loving. My mom will do anything for her children and for her grandchildren. Her love for her family is “unconditional”.

I am extremely impatient with my mom and sometimes very unkind to her. I don’t always think before I speak to her.

I should be so grateful that she was handpicked for me. A better mother I could not have asked for.

I am desperately trying to understand where it all went wrong. As a young girl I was extremely cheeky and I gave her a hard time. I often wonder if it is something she said or did when I was little or perhaps something I said or I did. Maybe I have locked it away in my little sub-conscious mind.

I’ve thought of seeing a hypnotherapist to help me find the answers, cause this a relationship that is worth saving and definitely worth fighting for. So often I take her for granted.

As a teenager we were good friends, often after a night out we would sit and have coffee and chat about what my friends and I got up to, I could share anything with her – in fact I still can but only when it suits me. I am pretty selfish.

My friends love her and often remind me that I should be more grateful.

I have also considered doing “The Journey” to see if it will help me find the answers I am so desperately looking for. Perhaps I should do the hypnotherapy or The Journey after my little Logan is born.

I am not blaming her for our imperfect relationship, I take full responsibility. All she ever does is try her best and she always gives of her best.

While lying in hospital this weekend I met a young lady who is having a very difficult pregnancy, it is her first child. She is scheduled to have a caesarean today and she is petrified. Her husband will be there to support her but unfortunately not her mother. Not because her mother can’t be there but because her mother has chosen to go on vacation with her new husband. A vacation, that can easily be postponed as she is only visiting the bush somewhere not too far from JHB.

I find that extremely selfish. It will be her mum’s first grandchild and her daughter really needs her for emotional support. My heart went out to her because I could really see her heartache and pain.

This incident made me realize how precious and dear my mother is.

She has stayed over at our house on numerous occasions to help me with the children because of my gestation hypertension. She took care of our children while I was in hospital as my hubby was on a cycling tour.

She fetches Joshua from school at times when I have a client. Please keep in mind she does not live down the road, she lives in Vereeniging so it is quite a distance for her to travel.

In fact she is on her way to our place as I am typing this, to take care of me and the children while my hubby is at work. She has a life of her own but that is put on hold so she can tend to me and her grandchildren.

She is due to go to Cape Town for her cancer tests next week and asked if she should postpone it until after the baby arrives. My mom does not have a selfish bone in her body. She always puts her family’s needs before her own.

I have promised myself to try very hard to get our relationship as close to perfect as I possibly can. I don’t want to have any regrets one day.

She is awesome and my family and I are very blessed and lucky to have the “perfect” mother in our lives.

I hope that I follow in her footsteps and that I too can be the “perfect” mother to our children.

We all love and cherish her!