Why does it seem so difficult to forgive and forget? When I first started blogging I posted the following, and to date I am really having great difficulty forgiving and forgetting.
I’m not sure if I should just blame it on the pregnancy hormones, seems like that would just be an excuse.
I’ve tried putting myself in the other person’s shoes but still find that I would never have sent such an e-mail.
I live with inner peace daily, but slowly the unforgiving is creeping in and I don’t like that ill feeling.
For my son’s sake I have to make peace with this person as she plays a role in his life, every second weekend or so.
Maybe I’m finding it hard to forgive and forget because that e-mail caused me a lot of stress and really brought me to tears, so much so that I believe it is part of the reason baby Logan and I were hospitalised.
Is it fair to blame her because it affected me so badly?
I have prayed often about this and perhaps I am a little too impatient, perhaps I’m expecting this ill feeling to just disappear overnight.
I actually avoid her because I fear that I may say something and will end up regretting it. I don’t like to be nasty but when I’m nasty I’m really nasty.
Our paths will cross every now and again and in my heart I know it can’t go on like this forever.
It hurts me because I really liked this person but at the mo, I can’t even face her.
I think what makes it worse is the fact that she doesn’t seem to think she is in the wrong, maybe another reason I can’t forgive and forget.
I am going to start reading one of Joyce Meyer’s books, “Battle Fields of the Mind” and I’m hoping that this will maybe soften my heart and open a door to forgiveness.
Now most of you know that I DO NOT LIKE reading, but I guess I am desperate.
Hopefully in a week or two I’ll be able to type a post with a happy ending, one that is filled with FORGIVENESS
November 12th, 2009 - 12:47 pm
I find it especially hard to forgive when I don’t feel I deserved the ugly words said/written to me. I have the tendancy to want to explain myself… and to be honest, the other person doesn’t necessarily wants to LISTEN…
November 12th, 2009 - 12:48 pm
Hey there
I remember that you have read that book before and it helped you alot the first time around. We had numerous discussions… (Oh, I hope it was you?
)
I promise you… to forgive is the best thing. I have been through a whole cleansing binge. I reckon what makes your situation more difficult is that you still need to interact with her. I am lucky… I forgave and took the chance to walk away.
You are just amazing…keep the faith and stand strong…
November 12th, 2009 - 6:03 pm
It’s funny that I read your blog now, especially when I was in tears again the passed 2 days -compliments my mother in law…
And yes, forgiving is not so hard if you can manage to forget. But THAT is the part I’m struggling with.
And same as with you, for my husband’s sake I probably will have to suck it up, but it’s really hard. I did not deserve the treatment.
But ultimately we are in charge of how we choose to react to sitiations, and therefore our thoughts. It takes the same amount of energy to be upset then being thankfull/forgiving.
But yaaa. It defenately easier said then done.
I do understand what you’re saying, and being pregnant doesn’t help!
November 13th, 2009 - 10:30 am
Oh Doline, I am so sorry to hear about your situation. It is so funny cause after I published the post I felt so much better “weird” and have decided to make an effort to forgive. I don’t have to go out of my way to be nice but I can be civil. I really hope you can patch things up, especially as you live so close to one another.
November 13th, 2009 - 10:35 am
You are so right, believe me I have a lot to say but sometimes I think it is better to rather keep quite, don’t want to end up with any regrets!