Last night, Joshua asked me to bath with him (it was already 8 pm, way past his bed time). I told him I was tired and just wanted to relax in front of the t.v. He was so disappointed, but still I insisted, he go and have a quick bath as it was already past his bedtime.
After about 5 minutes I decided that I would join him. I walked into our room and stopped in my tracks, as I saw him sit on the side of the bath saying to himself “No Abigail, No Logan, No Matthew”. He soon realized that I was there and burst out crying. I asked him why he was so upset and he told me that nobody plays with him anymore – nobody seems to care about him. My heart ached because I new that I was guilty of not spending enough time with him. Joshua said he felt that only the little ones got attention.
I asked him what he was saying and thinking before I came into the bathroom. He said “he wished his brother and sisters weren’t there”. My heart ached more. My poor little Snoopy cried even more because he now felt bad for having those feelings and thoughts.
I reassured him that it was okay to feel hurt and have such thoughts and feelings. I tried my best to reassure him of my love and that my love is equal for all of my children. We both had a good cry, hugged and cried more.
I felt so sorry for my little boy. He has been thru so much in his little 9 years. His dad and I got divorced, both remarried. He has had pregnant mommies for 4 years in a row. His stepmom was pregnant in Grade R, I was pregnant in grade 2 and grade 3. His stepmom is pregnant again (grade 4), her little Ella is due in two weeks time. It has been a hard road for him.
I must add tho, that he is a very lucky little boy because our relationship (mommy, stepdaddy, dad and stepmom) is very amicable, which makes life a lot more pleasant and easier.
I made a promise to Joshua that I would only work in the afternoon, while he does his homework and thereafter only after he has gone to bed. He complained that I work to much and I agree that I do, I revolve my life around my work. Very, very sad but true.
Last night made me realize that I need to focus more on quality and quantity time with my precious, precious little boy.
August 13th, 2010 - 7:06 pm
Aw man!! Shame Leigh! We sometimes forget that they also have days when its too much – just like we do!
August 14th, 2010 - 9:04 am
Poor kid
August 16th, 2010 - 9:35 am
It isn’t always easy to balance everything. I’m so glad he was open enough to tell you what was going on in his heart!
xx
August 16th, 2010 - 12:04 pm
Oh I sometimes feel the same about my princess.Poor little man.
August 16th, 2010 - 12:41 pm
My son also said this same thing to me in the past and I felt horrible. After that I started to spend more time with him. I know exactly how you feel and that we are so tired in the evenings that we say things we are too tired now and that is the mistake we make as parents.
Hugs
August 16th, 2010 - 2:32 pm
Aww…poor litle boy, he is blessed with having such a beatiful family as you guys are, and it was hard to read this but also a reminder of that children and the family needs time, and work and money isn´t everything
hugs and kisses from over here
August 17th, 2010 - 10:02 am
It’s moments like these that make you sit up and think huh? We are all guilty of it, so don’t feel too bad.
And he’s at a vulnerable age too, poor sausage. xx
August 18th, 2010 - 3:51 pm
aw – bless him! it must be hard. I am assuming Matthew is his step brother? I’m sure he knows he is very much loved, and is already feeling sooo much better! It’s a shame us Mums never stop feeling guilty tho…. He is lucky to have you x-x
November 16th, 2010 - 10:53 am
Ah! Poor Joshua.
There are many parents that sometimes find work and home life difficult. Its a constant rollercoaster of rushing form one place to the next. Here are a few comments from moms that are also trying to balance the crazy life just like you are. http://www.risingchild.com/component/community/groups/viewgroup/37-Working+Parents
From your blog it sounds like you have a great set up and he is very lucky to have such a great family.