After about 5 minutes I decided that I would join him.  I walked into our room and stopped in my tracks, as I saw him sit on the side of the bath saying to himself “No Abigail, No Logan, No Matthew”. He soon realized that I was there and burst out crying.  I asked him why he was so upset and he told me that nobody plays with him anymore – nobody seems to care about him. My heart ached because I new that I was guilty of not spending enough time with him. Joshua said he felt that only the little ones got attention.

I asked him what he was saying and thinking before I came into the bathroom. He said “he wished his brother and sisters weren’t there”. My heart ached more. My poor little Snoopy cried even more because he now felt bad for having those feelings and thoughts.

I reassured him that it was okay to feel hurt and have such thoughts and feelings.  I tried my best to reassure him of my love and that my love is equal for all of my children.  We both had a good cry, hugged and cried more.

I felt so sorry for my little boy. He has been thru so much in his little 9 years. His dad and I got divorced, both remarried.  He has had pregnant mommies for 4 years in a row.  His stepmom was pregnant in Grade R, I was pregnant in grade 2 and grade 3.  His stepmom is pregnant again (grade 4), her little Ella is due in two weeks time. It has been a hard road for him.

I must add tho, that he is a very lucky little boy because our relationship (mommy, stepdaddy, dad and stepmom) is very amicable, which makes life a lot more pleasant and easier.

I made a promise to Joshua that I would only work in the afternoon, while he does his homework and thereafter only after he has gone to bed.  He complained that I work to much and I agree that I do, I revolve my life around my work. Very, very sad but true.

Last night made me realize that I need to focus more on quality and quantity time with my precious, precious little boy.

She lights up the room when she waddles in.  She loves her mommy, daddy, brother and sister. Gogo is her hero.

She loves to play outside.

I wonder what will become of her one day, what will she choose to study, what career path will she choose.  I’m thinking she will be a Doctor or a Lawyer, because she is smart – no really she is. She has her daddies enquiring mind and becomes frustrated if she can’t master something.

She often makes me laugh, especially in the morning when I’m getting ready for work.  She watches me closely and applies her moisturiser and lip balm, her little bra gets wrapped  around her neck along with her beads.

She mimics whatever I say.  Did you know that her daddies name is Baaaaabbbe “babe” said as a little rhyme.

The other day I was giving her a timeout and as I started counting one…………….she politely interrupted saying two and that was that………..her timeout was over!

There is never a dull moment with our little Abigail around.

Both Abigail and I enjoyed the classes. It is perfect bonding time for a mother and her baby.

Our dearest little Abigail graduated from Moms and Babes last week. Logan will start her classes on Thursday, and I look forward to meeting the new moms and their babes.

Abigail loved free play

Abigail trying to push paper into the tin

Abigail Graduates

Moms and Babes 9 - 12 months old - March 2010

During the first lap of the race, there was an accident. Two youngsters road into one another, the one was wheeled off in a wheel chair. The race was stopped until everything was cleared away and then they started it again. There were four laps left to go and little Joshua took the lead. My heart was racing as I watched him because he was cycling really fast. Many a time I wanted to yell slow down but he would never have forgiven me.

Waiting to line up at the start

Clowning around, I think it was nerves

During the last lap he was still leading but the other rider was fairly close behind him, I’m sure he could hear him breathing.

The two of them raced towards the end and my little Joshua won. I was so proud of him, felt like crying with excitement.

He received a medal and his prize money. Barend is part of the Vodacom team and the captain sent out a little congratulations sms to all the riders, congratulating Joshua. Oh! did I mention he was the first Vodacom rider to ever receive prize money

Joshua with his prize money and medal

Logan is weighing in at 5.2 kg and she still feeds every four hours during the day. At night she goes to bed around 8 pm and wakes up between 3 and 4 am.

She is a little beauty and loves to smile. She is such a content little lady who loves staring into space, mommy likes to think she is talking to her angels.

She is just too beautiful

Happy camper

She loves her bath time

It all started about a week ago………….Joshua woke up in the middle of the night with a headache and a runny nose and he was running a fever. I took him to our GP and she diagnosed “sever sinusitis”. A few days later he woke me up around 2 am, sobbing because his ear was sore. I thought an insect had crawled into his ear. I rushed him off to Flora emergency room and was told he had a really bad ear infection. They gave him drops to knock him out as he was in so much pain. Both he and I sat crying in the emergency room, it was awful. I get very emotional when my kids are in pain or suffering.

A few days later, Joshua broke out in a terrible rash all over his little body. It looked awful. Once again we rushed back to my GP. She thought it was either an allergic reaction to Penicillin or Rubella or a viral infection. She took bloods and he cried, I mean really cried “big crocodile tears”…..once again mommy cried too.

I took him home and dosed him with meds (third lot of antibiotics). The next day the rash looked ten times worse so off to the quack again. She couldn’t believe how it had spread and she was really concerned, the bloods showed that there was an infection but we had to wait for the allergy and Rubella results. She called my paediatrician as she needed a second opinion. Fortunately our Paediatrician said she’d quickly eye ball him. We raced from Flora to Wilgeheuwel and sat waiting patiently for our turn to see the Paediatrician. Both Joshua and I were exhausted by this time.

She diagnosed him quickly, my poor little monkey had a severe viral infection -( however, she could not rule Rubella out). All meds were stopped and we had to wait patiently for the infection to leave his little body. Our Paediatrician was awesome she reassured Joshua that he would be better within a day or two. She was livid that he’d been given three different types of antibiotics over a period of 2 weeks.

It certainly did not end there as our little Abigail started getting chesty and had a runny nose. Our GP asked me to bring her in as she was afraid that she had contacted the viral infection. She was diagnosed with tonsillitis.

We have been told to keep a close eye on our Little Logan. I had her at the clinic today and all seems okay.

I really hope my little angel gets better soon. We are leaving for Cape Town on Thursday and I want my family to be ” ill free ”

There was a lot of excitement in the early hours on the 28th. Abigail got her first bicycle from daddy, okay it’s one of those BP specials but close enough:)

Soooo excited

Cheese

We opened presents, ate lots of cake and then we headed off to Moms and Babes for a little party. Abigail loves Moms and Babes, she has quite a few friends in her class and she loves to play. Her favorite is “messy play”, can’t say that is mommies favorite part of the lesson.

My first two wheeler

She takes her time opening presents, unlike her mother

Go-go's little helper

We have a DJ in the house

Yummy cake

Mmmm the cake is yummy

My party at Moms and Babes

On Saturday, we had a small birthday party for Abigail, just a few friends and family. My mom made the most awesome cake (once again) and some lovely cup cakes, there was plenty sweets, chips and cool drink.

Nanna made my birthday cake

Plenty to eat

I'm the party girl

My family (Logan was sleeping)

Daddy loved this gift!

I am only 1 years old and already I can read

The adults had a braai and relaxed while the kids ran riot. My house looked like a bomb had hit it once everyone had left:) Oh! the joys of having a party at your house.

I’m glad everyone had a good time

Last night was his first Hip Hop lesson for the term.

On our way to his lesson he asked me if I thought his instructor would teach him how to spin on his head, during his first lesson. I had to laugh. He did not stop talking during our little trip to the studio, I think it was a combination of nerves and excitement.

Upon our arrival we watched the last five minutes of the Free-Style class, wow those kids can move.

Joshua was introduced to his teacher “Cuba” and to his dance mates. They all made Joshua feel so welcome, a lovely group of children. Fortunately Josh was not the only little boy in the class, but he was the only beginner. The only dance experience Joshua has is dancing in the shower or when trying to entertain us.

I sat in the “waiting room” while Joshua had his lesson, I was pleased that there was a one way mirror allowing me to watch him.

I sat watching Joshua with a lump in my throat, because I was so proud of him. He made every effort to get the few dance steps right, he fell over his own feet, fell over the other dancers feet but he continued to try. He is quite the dancer, I think he gets his rhythm from me:)

The other dancers helped him along when he struggled. I was very surprised because he was not shy, he actually loved watching himself dance in the mirror and often he would try his own little moves. During their little break he would try and copy the other dancers or his teacher. I giggled quite a lot because he still has to get the feet and arm / hand coordination right.

The class came to an end 45 minutes later and Joshua was very disappointed, he asked his teacher if he could have another lesson the next day “bless him”.

If anyone is interested in sending their children for dance lessons, I highly recommend Pulzation Dance Studio. Gia the owner is a lovely person and very, very helpful. Cuba is a fantastic teacher and the children were very friendly, helpful and supportive.

I am looking forward to next weeks lesson and I promise to try and get a photo or two.

On Friday morning 11th December, Barend and I had a quick cuppa before leaving for the hospital. I wanted to leave earlier, in hope that Linda (midwife that delivered Abigail) would still be there (she worked the night shift). I was really hoping that she would assist with Logan’s delivery, my fingers were crossed.

We arrived at the maternity ward and were greeted by Linda, suddenly my nervousness disappeared. I introduced Linda to Frances Marie a client of mine who is studying medicine and would like to specialise as a gynaecologist (we had permission for her to watch the birth). Linda took me straight to the delivery room, where she told me she was not allowed to assist with the delivery as she had just worked a 12 hour shift. I was a sad, because I really trust her and she is wonderful to have by your side. She left Barend and I alone for awhile. I got undressed and waited for her to return to connect me to the foetal monitor.

Linda arrived back with some good news. My gynaecologist had agreed that she could break my waters. She connected the monitor to see how baby was doing and to see if I had any contractions. Barend went to the reception to complete the necessary forms.

The time had arrived……………….it was 6:40 am and my waters were about to be broken. I was scared because the last time I had it done it was excruciating. Linda tried three times but nothing happened, she did an internal and confirmed baby Logan was very, very low and that I was 3cm dilated. One more try, we agreed upon and WHAM there was a sudden gush of water AND it was painless. She did another internal and within that short space of time I had dilated to 4cm but there was no pain. Linda felt the dilating as she did the internal and said this baby is going to come out quickly, quicker than Abigail.

It was almost time for her to leave and the new shift to take over. I was introduced to Zola and Estie, both sisters I’d met before and I was rather comfortable with them.

I lay in bed for about half an hour with contractions coming and going but nothing painful. I decided to take a walk in hope that it would bring on the contractions faster and stronger. Oh my life, it certainly brought them on alright.

The pain was bearable for a while. Zola did an internal and confirmed I was 7 cm dilated. I asked if I could have a pethadine shot (one would swear I was addicted) just to take the edge off. She rang my doc and he said it would be fine. Still standing with the phone in her hand and her finger on the receiver, I shouted “she is coming”. She called Doc again saying baby is on the way.

In less than 3 minutes my Doc came running in. He was very agitated because the bed was not prepared for natural delivery and the stirrups weren’t up. There were midwives running around trying to get everything sorted. Eventually everything seemed to be in place. By this time Estie had taken over from Zola.

You’re fully dilated and yes! she is on her way, said Doctor Potgieter. The pain was all in my back and very different to that of Abigail’s birth. The contractions were also very different – one very strong one that lasted for a minute then another for 30 seconds which was mild.
I could feel she was on her way and there was that urge to push. I gave about four pushes but she kept slipping back. I eventually asked my Doc to just cut her out. He winked at Barend saying “you’ll have her on the passage floor if I wheel you into theatre”. I obviously did not find that very funny.

My Doctor and Estie encouraged me to give one last big push and Estie started counting 1, 2 ………and on 10 little Logan arrived. What a joyous moment, I was so happy to finally meet my little girl. The little one that gave me heart burn, that made my tummy look like a tidal wave at times. Our very own little creation.

Taking a rest between contractions

Baby Logan has arrived

She was very porkie and had a mop of black hair. Estie put her on my tummy and she lay there for quite some time. Barend and I were ecstatic. It’s a moment you can’t explain to others. The feelings are just so hard to describe.

Proud mommy and daddy

Finally I have arrived

Tired after her long journey

Peek a boo

My Doc had to give me a few stitches cause I tore a wee bit and while doing so he explained to Frances Marie how the stitching was done and showed her the placenta etc. etc.

After I was all stitched and cleaned up little Logan was put to my noombie, where she latched and happily sucked away.

The hospital was very, very full. They had to convert the tea room into a three bed ward. When I arrived Linda told me I may have to stay in the delivery room as there was no space. I didn’t mind because it was pretty much like a private room, just a lot bigger.

A few hours later I was told I was going to be moved into a private room. I think I was given a private room because I had natural birth, the same happened with Abigail. Zola went out of her way to find me a room, we were very grateful.

Logan was born at 8:45 and weighed 3.58 kg. Her APGAR was 9/10 and 10/10.

Perfect in every way

She is perfect in every way.

Proud daddy with his little girl

Barend was truly amazing during the birth. He rubbed my back and held my hand. Encouraged me to push. He was very much apart of Logan’s birth. “I love you with all my heart”

Getting ready for my first bath

My first bath

Brotherly LOVE

Our beautiful children Logan, Josh and Abi

Abigail taking a nap on mommies bed at the hospital

I’m thinking she weighs around 3.3 kg already.

We know that she has a mop of hair, wondering if it is true about the heartburn and hair – I think it is an old wives tale.

We had our 4D scan taken a while back but as most of you know I’m still not too clued up on downloading from the camera. To be honest I’ve not even asked my hubby to show me, I’m just way to lazy at the mo.

She looks a lot like Abigail

Just soo perfect

She already frowns like her mommy

She is quite the busy body, but today she seems to have calmed down a lot. Perhaps she is preparing for her long journey:)

Last night was a rough night, I don’t think I slept more than 3 hours. I was tossing and turning because of the cramps or should I say sore ligaments.

BUT not too long now and it will all be over.

I’m going to miss my belly a lot. I love feeling her swim around, practice her cycling and kicking.

Her daddy and I look forward to welcoming her to our little family. Joshua is also very excited.

Hopefully next time I type a post it will be “Baby Logan’s Arrival”