He said he was not surprised to see me because my body has taken its toll over the last two years.

My hubby and I’ve decided that we aren’t going to have any more baba’s. The decision saddened my heart but I know it was the right one.

Now I’m on a mission to get these hormones in order and sort myself out.

I’m hoping to get away in April for a few days to re-charge my batteries and spend some time with my hubby and kids.

I complained so much that I actually forgot that there were some good times during our trip and that the kids actually enjoyed themselves, even if mommy was a bit of a dragon. Here are a few happy snaps!

Abigail ever so excited and little Logan taking a peaceful nap.

Abigail's first time on the beach

Yummy I love sweetie pies

Bath time after my sweetie pie

Our little smiley face

Our little Abigail getting up to mischief

Ooh, so content and happy

Abigail and Naomi (my best friend of 30 years little girl)

Such a pretty baby

Joshua listening to music on his mobile

Pooped after a day in the sun, sleeping on the dogs bed

Our little angel Josh, always making his little sister laugh

Joshua entertaining his little sister

I’m really not dealing too well with all these mixed emotions and feelings.

The other day I went to my son’s school wearing two different shoes, only realizing it when I arrived home. I packed two different shoes when we went on holiday. My concentration span is non existent. I’m even battling to type this little post, have read it about six times just to make sure it makes some sort of sense.

I’ve been trying to figure out whats wrong with me, could it be PND, sleep deprivation, too much detox as I’m on a herbal diet or perhaps the new contraceptive pill is not agreeing with me. NO!!! I am not pregnant !!!! I can’t be !!

I’m waiting for my gynae’s office to phone me back, so I can chat to him cause I feel like I’m gonna pull my hair out.

I’m hoping it is just a simple little hormonal issue that needs to be sorted. At the mo, I just want an explanation!

My mom agreed to take the girls for a few nights so I can get some rest and spend some quality time with my hubby.

I arrived at the hair dresser at 11 am and my mom picked the girls up. Grazia asked what I wanted done and I said whatever you feel like doing – just do it. My hair was looking awful. I usually get quite irritated if I spend too much time at a salon but this time it was different, I sipped on coffee, read books and relaxed. I walked out of the salon at 3:30 feeling like a new woman and loving my new hair do. Grazia cut, coloured, highlighted and blow-waved and I only paid R480, what a bargain!

I stopped off at my mom’s to say goodbye to the girls and headed back to Jo’burg (Josh is visiting his dad for a few days). My CD player was on full blast as I listened to my new CD Mama Mia (which I got for Valentines day).

I popped into the mall and bought myself some new mascara (I think the last time I bought mascara was about 3 years ago). I don’t really like make-up but sometimes it makes me feel pretty. Barend arrived home from work and we went out to dinner, it felt like we were on a date! He took me to Cape Town Fish Market at Cresta, we had fabulous service, awesome food and plenty red wine:)

Today we slept in until 10 am, I can’t remember when last I slept so late. I’ve done nothing today except laze around in my pj’s either watching t.v. or painting my nails etc.

We have to get up pretty early tomorrow morning as Barend has a race in Boksburg. I remember when we first started dating, I never missed a race – I can’t even remember when I last went with him to a race. He should be out and about for about 3 hours and I’m going to spend this time reading (not something I do often).

I’ve really enjoyed this time, but I have to admit the house is ever so quiet. There is not much laughter (except mine and Barend’s we laugh at our own silly jokes), there is no sound of pitter patter feet. Tomorrow we are going to pick the girls up after the race and I’m happy they are coming home, I have really missed them.

Joshua will only be home on Thursday and as much as I miss him I know he needs to spend time with is little brother, father and stepmother.

Logan is weighing in at 5.2 kg and she still feeds every four hours during the day. At night she goes to bed around 8 pm and wakes up between 3 and 4 am.

She is a little beauty and loves to smile. She is such a content little lady who loves staring into space, mommy likes to think she is talking to her angels.

She is just too beautiful

Happy camper

She loves her bath time

We departed for the airport on the Thursday and arrived at Lanseria very excited, only to find out that my poor daughter Logan was not booked on the plane. Fortunately, I had a print-out of the booking with proof that I had booked her on the flight, so they had to make a plan – the service was shocking. The Kulula flight was somewhat pleasant, I guess.

We arrived at Europcar to pick up our Mazda 5 only to find out that they had ordered the wrong car and did not have a Mazda 5, I was livid. A car was ordered from the depo and we were asked to wait patiently for its arrival. Not only did they mess up with the car but they did not order a baby seat, eventually they found one but no one knew how to work the dam thing. By this time my patience was wearing very, very thin.

Our Mazda 5 eventually arrived and instead of taking us to the car, the moron took another couple to it. Okay, so I lost it. I screamed like a mad woman, I could not believe that the idiot could not even take his clients to their correct car. We eventually started packing the car, only to find out that it was actually meant for another couple who had been waiting with their new born baby in the sun for a good 20 minutes. To be honest, by this time, I did not care and told Europcar to find them another car as I was not going to unpack the car. I drove off with a screech and headed to our hotel.

We arrived at our hotel, and were greeted by friendly staff. The steam still oozing out my ears, so I was not very polite. We were on the 4th floor and there was no lift, imagine two infants, a twin pram, 4 bags, a child and NO LIFT! Smile Leigh, I kept telling myself.

My mom had ordered two cots for the girls but only one was available. Okay this time I LOST IT !!! I was the raving lunatic we all stare at in the mall and I actually did not care who saw my behaviour, I told the manager I wanted another cot and he should make a plan, I didn’t care if he had to go out and buy one.

We unpacked, but only clothing for the night as the next day we were heading to another hotel. (This happened because of the screw up with the initial booking).

We went to the Waterfront for a meal and damn it was good, really good and so was the strawberry cocktail I had. Finally I relaxed……………I slept like a baby as my mom looked after the kids.

We booked into the next hotel and set off to see Lisa, my bestest friend of 30 years. Lisa and Alex flew in from the UK with their two kids for a holiday. We had a fab braai, compliments to my hubby, and we really had a good time. Her children are adorable.

Saturday we drove thru to Paarl to visit Emil and Zannie, friends of ours from Jo’burg. We had plenty of wine and food and such good company. Thank goodness my mom doesn’t drink as Barend and I had way to much vino, so she drove us all home safely.

Sunday my “apple juice” diet started. I had to drink clear liquids for the entire day as I was booked to have a colonoscopy the next day. We visited Hilary, another one of my bestest friends, I think we’ve been friends for 18 years. The days was very pleasant and I enjoyed seeing her and meeting her other half, who is a fabulous man. Unfortunately, we had to leave early as I had to drink meds in preparation for the next days screening. The meds are awful and I want to get sick just thinking about drinking it. I had to drink to enema’s, fortunately I managed to get them down but with force. Yip, I said DRINK them, doctors orders.

My tests were scheduled for 9:00 am and we were out of the hospital by 12:00 pm. All is good and I do not have to go back – not ever and neither do my children have to have screenings done! What a relief. Unfortunately my mom’s news was not all that great as they found polyps in her stomach, but our professor / doctor has assured us that he is not concerned and that neither should we be. How does one not worry? I didn’t show her that I was worried cause I didn’t want to upset her and get myself all upset in front of the kids, they had seen enough drama over the last couple of days. Mommy was very, very tense and not the best daughter to their nanna. My poor mom, I still don’t know how she put up with me. I’m thinking it was maybe PMS or sleep deprivation and all the havoc that put me in such a foul mood cause I am actually quite a pleasant person to be around. I did not like myself much on this trip.

On our way back to the hotel, we received a call to ask why we hadn’t booked out yet? Huh, uhm because we were booked for another night. Well apparently not, so once again were were moved to another room. At least it was not another hotel “sigh”

We had dinner at the Waterfront and Joshua and I took a boat trip around the harbour, this was the first time I actually relaxed in 5 days and it was for a total of 30 minutes “wow”.

Tuesday morning we packed up and went to visit my aunt, we had tea and cookies “yummy” and then raced off to the airport. The flight was pleasant and I was very impressed with the service and the airport changes.

The staff at Kulula Cape Town, can certainly teach the Lanseria staff a thing or two.

We arrived home and I was in bed by 8 pm. I had to wake up at 5 am to prepare the salon as my first client was due to arrive at 8 am and I have a big Tranquil Body Treat order to get out before the end of the day……………………. I’m thinking this weekend, will be ME time……………I’m gonna send the kids to my mom and enjoy some time with my hubby……a wee bit selfish maybe, but I really, really need it!!!

Going back 10 years……..wow…………some thoughts I had were funny – some scary – some naughty – some sad and some happy.

1999
My models and I took part in our last fashion show and photoshoot on board the Symphony. I resigned from the modelling world as I was moving to America.
At the airport I said goodbye to my family and a few really good friends as I jetted off to the USA to become a nanny.

During my stay in the States I met some really awesome people, to name a few Todd, Sigga, CJ, Lindi, Tamara, Anjela and Bernie. Thanks to FB I keep in touch with all of them except for poor old Bernie and Tamara.

I studied Spanish during my free time, and I have to admit it was not because I liked the lingo but because the teacher was ‘n “warm stukkie”.

I was introduced to the Polka Festival world, not something I should be boasting about as that music is just so “yukkie”, but at that time it was awesome. We partied none stop, drank ourselves silly, danced until we couldn’t anymore and had loads and loads of fun.

2000
My sister joined me in Michigan and we celebrated the New Year together. It was fab having her with me. I really missed my family a lot whilst living abroad. I was fortunate enough to have my mom came over and visit me and we travelled up North to the Upper Peninsula, we too had an awesome time.

After my year was up as a nanny I returned to SA for a month and then moved to the UK.

Whilst living in the UK I fell pregnant, it was not a planned pregnancy but I made the most of it and I was happy. During my stay in the UK I travelled to Germany, Holland, Italy, France, Ireland and Austria. I have traveled quite extensively, probably visited about 30 ish countries.

2001
I returned to SA as the UK was just not for me, I moved to Durban, Amanzimtoti and gave birth to Joshua, my beautiful little boy.

2002
A business proposition arose and I returned to my hometown, Vereeniging. I married Joshua’s father. My friend Lisa from the UK and Anjela from Australia came over to visit me, it was lovely to see them.

I started working in Johannesburg for an awesome boss – Mr Berry.

I met Yollie and we became friends, she is one of my dearest friends.

Yollie and her hubby Hanno

2003
Joshua’s father and I got divorced.

I started studying part-time (beauty therapy) as I had no intention to stay in the corporate world.

I became the proud owner of my own home and car.

2004
I socialised a lot during this year, meeting loads of new and interesting characters, some I am still in contact with.

2005
I met my soul mate, the man of my dreams and the love of my life:)

2006
My parents took Joshua and I to Australia and New Zealand on holiday, this was by far one of the best holidays I have ever had. We had so much fun.

April was a sad month for us because Barend’s brother in law passed away, leaving behind his beautiful wife and precious little boy.

I took a bold step forward and sold my house and moved in with Barend.

2007
My little boy Joshua started grade R.

Joshua's first day - Grade R

Barend, Josh and I went to Cape Town on holiday. Barend was cycling The Argus.

Visiting seal island

Visiting Spier Wine Farm

Barend and I went on The Melody, our Valentines treat.

On board The Symphony

Barend, Josh and I went to Paris and the UK on holiday. We had a lovely time. Barend proposed to me on The London Eye.

Josh meets Mr. Incredible

Hey Mickey you so fine!

On The London Eye - just got engaged

Barend and I tied the knot, this was by far the happiest day of my life.

Together Forever

Such a happy couple

My hubby and I went on honey moon and this was another one of my bestest holidays.

Pic taken at Natures Valley

I resigned from the corporate world and launched the The Tranquil Sanctuary.

I decided to further my studies and add treatments to my menu. I studied Indian Head and Swedish massage.

2008
My little boy started big school “grade 1″

Joshua's first day - Grade 1

I fell pregnant and I was ecstatic because we had been trying for some time.

Preggy Belly

I studied reflexology.

Barend’s ouma passed away and we were very sad because she never got to meet her grandchild.

2009
I gave birth to Abigail a beautiful perfect little angel.

A beautiful little angel

My gran passed away, it was very sad for all of us left behind but it was comforting to know that she was no longer in pain and no longer suffering.

I fell pregnant again, the news arrived as quite a shocker at first but we were all happy and excited.

7 weeks pregnant

Our little Abigail was Christened.

Our little princess

I gave birth to our beautiful little Logan, a little princess.

Our little Logan

I started a new business venture called Tranquil Body Treats and will have the launch in Feb / March 2010.

Body Mousse

I was introduced to the blogging world and I have met some really awesome people. Blogging is addictive and I love it. I love reading posts and more than often will find one that inspires me, gives me hope, makes me cry, makes me laugh and makes me think…………..

I am looking forward to the next 10 years!

It all started about a week ago………….Joshua woke up in the middle of the night with a headache and a runny nose and he was running a fever. I took him to our GP and she diagnosed “sever sinusitis”. A few days later he woke me up around 2 am, sobbing because his ear was sore. I thought an insect had crawled into his ear. I rushed him off to Flora emergency room and was told he had a really bad ear infection. They gave him drops to knock him out as he was in so much pain. Both he and I sat crying in the emergency room, it was awful. I get very emotional when my kids are in pain or suffering.

A few days later, Joshua broke out in a terrible rash all over his little body. It looked awful. Once again we rushed back to my GP. She thought it was either an allergic reaction to Penicillin or Rubella or a viral infection. She took bloods and he cried, I mean really cried “big crocodile tears”…..once again mommy cried too.

I took him home and dosed him with meds (third lot of antibiotics). The next day the rash looked ten times worse so off to the quack again. She couldn’t believe how it had spread and she was really concerned, the bloods showed that there was an infection but we had to wait for the allergy and Rubella results. She called my paediatrician as she needed a second opinion. Fortunately our Paediatrician said she’d quickly eye ball him. We raced from Flora to Wilgeheuwel and sat waiting patiently for our turn to see the Paediatrician. Both Joshua and I were exhausted by this time.

She diagnosed him quickly, my poor little monkey had a severe viral infection -( however, she could not rule Rubella out). All meds were stopped and we had to wait patiently for the infection to leave his little body. Our Paediatrician was awesome she reassured Joshua that he would be better within a day or two. She was livid that he’d been given three different types of antibiotics over a period of 2 weeks.

It certainly did not end there as our little Abigail started getting chesty and had a runny nose. Our GP asked me to bring her in as she was afraid that she had contacted the viral infection. She was diagnosed with tonsillitis.

We have been told to keep a close eye on our Little Logan. I had her at the clinic today and all seems okay.

I really hope my little angel gets better soon. We are leaving for Cape Town on Thursday and I want my family to be ” ill free ”

A proud nanna with her angels on Abigail's Christening day

Barend and I count ourselves very, very lucky because we have the best mom in the world. She is an awesome nanna to our three children.

My mom is always there for our family. She will drop whatever she is doing to assist us if the need arises. She is envied by some because of her wonderful relationship with her grandchildren, and at times unnecessary comments affect her. She is very sensitive and she hurts easily.

Her grandchildren’s faces light up when they hear her voice or they see her.

Nanna teaching Abigail to cook

Nanna teaching Joshua to bake

She is a good wife to my dad, I think she is his “right hand man”.

During my last trimester (I was confined to bed rest) my mom went the extra mile to help Barend with the running of our household and our children. She would drive up to Johannesburg from Vereeniging, two maybe three times a week to cart and carry us around.

Nanna and her precious Logan

She is not a lady of leisure with extra time on her hands, she works full day – her only advantage is that she works for my dad, who was kind enough to give her the time to tend to her little ones.

My mother’s love for her family is definitely unconditional. She does not have a selfish bone in her body. Her family always come first, at times I think she forgets about herself.

She is a good and loyal friend, always offering to lend a hand.

Her kindness and love is not only shown towards her own family but also to those who are in need. She looked after and raised her nannies little grandchildren who were diagnosed with aids. They were taken from her a few months ago when her nanny could no longer work due to illness and it broke her heart.

If my dad would allow her to adopt an orphan she would jump at the opportunity.

As a mother she never shows favoritism, her children are all loved equally.

My mom welcomed Barend into her home with open arms and she loves him like her own.

At times she can be over protective, but we have come to realize that it is because she is afraid of losing a child. She lost my brother when he was 21 and it nearly killed her.

At times I wish she would be stronger and stand up for herself, not allowing people to walk all over her or accept rude comments etc. She is a peace maker.

My friends adore her and often tell me that I should count my lucky stars because my mom is THE BEST!

We all love and cherish her very much.

There was a lot of excitement in the early hours on the 28th. Abigail got her first bicycle from daddy, okay it’s one of those BP specials but close enough:)

Soooo excited

Cheese

We opened presents, ate lots of cake and then we headed off to Moms and Babes for a little party. Abigail loves Moms and Babes, she has quite a few friends in her class and she loves to play. Her favorite is “messy play”, can’t say that is mommies favorite part of the lesson.

My first two wheeler

She takes her time opening presents, unlike her mother

Go-go's little helper

We have a DJ in the house

Yummy cake

Mmmm the cake is yummy

My party at Moms and Babes

On Saturday, we had a small birthday party for Abigail, just a few friends and family. My mom made the most awesome cake (once again) and some lovely cup cakes, there was plenty sweets, chips and cool drink.

Nanna made my birthday cake

Plenty to eat

I'm the party girl

My family (Logan was sleeping)

Daddy loved this gift!

I am only 1 years old and already I can read

The adults had a braai and relaxed while the kids ran riot. My house looked like a bomb had hit it once everyone had left:) Oh! the joys of having a party at your house.

I’m glad everyone had a good time